DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER:

This humorous but obviously fictional tale (original author unknowen)  I got from my friend Heather (darloudasha) who had it forwared to her in an email and so she posted in Her Easter Seceret Sister Swap )

 

For those of you in the very southeren end of Wiscosin and in Illinois propabably can relate to much of this.  I know I can with the darn snow plow drivers.  (well when I actually lived where I had to shovel thats where apartment life is good).

 

DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER

 

December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches of snow fell. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra snow shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. The wife laughted for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but watch TV with the wife. Guess I should've bought a wood stove. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room!

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the white stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. The snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 21: The city did my plowing and charged me. I hate it when Bob's right!

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 inches fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August! Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel, but by that time I was too tired to shovel. I tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think he's lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What, is she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow that I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the guy who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his hair! I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil! I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's lying. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to scream!

December 26: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here?

December 27: Temperature dropped to -50 and the pipes froze.

December 28: Warmed up to above -30. Still snowed in.

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard! How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I strapped to the bed? Why is everyone wearing white coats?

"Why Did I Buy This???"

Yep i've gone and done it AGAIN!  I've found lots of items in my stash of supplies that I haven't used since I bought them years ago.  Now i get to use them.  Wanna know why?  Well i'll tell you anyways, there is a wonderful gal Darlene (luvmakingcards) on SCS, (Yep my home away from home) she created a swap just for items you bought and never used.  The hook for it was it had to be sitting around for at leasy 1 year and never used before.  Well I didn't have to many problems with this one as I have 18 glimmer mists and never used any except once 3 years ago to color those tiny little cotton balls.  So for one set I choose the glimmer mists so You Tube there I went.  I had no idea what to do with them.  So I found som tutorials on using the stuff.  I now know why I haven't used them before.  All you can basically do with them is color stuff  and make background paper, and color chipboard and such items.  I tried coloring something metal like it said you could, but it wouldnt stick.  Don't know what i did wrong yet.  So I just did a few papers.  

REASONS I'VE NEVER USED IT BEFORE!

1. It's messy
2. It never sprays right
3. Background paper is all i can do with it.  and
4. Did I say messy.

I have used a few techniques.  I tried a tissue paper method where you place crumpled tissue paper over the paper and it makes the color a little dull.  The best part is you can save the tissue paper for use on your creations too.  I wasnt a big fan of the white gaps it caused so I took the lightest color I used and sprayed over them lightly.  This is how it turned out.

Then I tried the method where you spray directly to the paper but I always get those blotchy spots form those pesky air bubbles. 

The final method I tried and liked the best is the one where you spray directly to the paper and saturate it enough that you can easily crumple it.  Make sure when you unravel it that you dont rip it.  As I did with one, however I was able to work with it and you can't even notice. 

So the pieces on these cards that were at least a year old and never used within that time are as follows:

Various colors of Glimmer Mist

Pink bubblegum

Saphire

Graphite

Deep Purple

Fully Purple

and 2 other colors I can't remember.

The cardstock bases plus the background colored paper under the scalloped circle.

Also the fibers.

The image is a few months old, but this is the first time i've used it other than making some images for my fairy swap I hosted.

So now your prolly wondering what the cards turned out like.  So with no further introduction here is Set #1.

 

Now on to set #2.

I am very proud of this set.  Not only did I complete it with products i've had for over a year without using.  They are all over 2 years old.  The only thing I regret is not using my flocking on the cats. 

The Stamp Set is Sassy Cats from The Angel Company

The Paper I stamped on feel like leather.  It's a bit strange.

I riped the side of the image with a deckled ruler. 

The DP is foiled hearts from a Rockband set.

Then the Sparkle black and pink paper.

The cats collar I colored with a pink glitter pen and then used pink stickles over it.

Then for that added touch, although it could go without the 2 piece flower in the corner. 

I've had a few people ask what company it's from so I thought i'd mention it.  I have never used this set from the day I got it.  I thought it was Cute and Sassy but never really did have an idea of what kind of card to make with it.  Now I got a cute Valentines card.

 

Hope you've enjoyed these cards.  I know I surley enjoyed making them.

SU Stamp Club 1-29-2011

So today i went to my very first Stampin Up Stamp Club meeting.  Its a group of us gals that meet once a month all year long and we each take a turn as hostess for the month.  i unfortunately have to wait til August for my hostess month.  But thats good thats my sisters birthday month so maybe i can talk her into tagging along to do a lil birthday shopping for herself.  LOL! 

The only requirement for this group is to spend $15 a month.  heck i can do that even if i just get a few packs a paper.  Well i went overboard today as usuall.  Not only did i bring home donuts from the bakery that we meet at.  I ordered a pack of Rich Razzleberry, and Pear Pizzaz paper plus the eastern blossom stamp set and the punch that cordinates with that set.  and since my order had reached $50 i had a hard time choosing between Tree Trimmings, Forest Friends or the Live Laugh Love stamp  set from the sale a bration book.  I finally had decided on the live laugh love set because i dont have very many decent universal sentiments and i dont have alot of use for the forest friends set (other than the forest friends swaps on SCS, or kid cards) and well the tree trimmings would sit around for ages before i got to use it, unless i did a head start on christmas cards with it.  LOL!  who knows maybe next month i'll have enough to get another free stamp set.

well okay onto what i made today.  One of the items was a cute tag to put on a treat bag, we filled the bag with a ginormous peanut butter ball, however the hubby got to it and ate it before i could get a picture.  LOL!  i ate mine while crafting since the bag only fit 1 and we were able to have 2.  :)  We used the stamp set Eat Chocolate. 

Then we also made a vintage type card.  I like the colors used Rich Razzleberry and Pear Pizzaz.  i think im going to have to order the In color markers (save money and still have to colors to stamp with.) ;)  Aslo the DP used is the lightweight paper out of the SU book.  kinda like vintage encyclopedias and such.  We did a watercolor to color the image in using the reinkers.  I think i'll stick to my watercolor crayons as i am better with them.  Im not to much into the Vintage style but these turned out pretty decent.

4 Seasons Swap is completed!!!

So I had signed up for Karly's 4 Seasons Swap.  I originally intended on doing all 4, however I got busy after the holidays or shall I say stayed busy.  So I didnt drop out completely but I did scale back.  I wanted to do my Acetate cards which I had not used since I had my stamp camp with them.  So to make it a quick and easy swap I chose to keep the Winter and Spring since I knew i had photos on my computer that i could use for it.  so here are my wonderful cards.  First the Winter, i had to print it in black and white because my printer wasnt working properly, thats okay though since winter is mostly white anyways.  LOL!  I finally did get my printer working properly so i could make my spring card.  Boy are those Acetate Cards hard to photograph though.  since the acetate is see through and the background is white text paper for putting the sentimate in it causes it to give a double image/ shadow.  the spring card took me 6 pictures to finally get a good one no matter how i held  or placed the card.

Hope you like them.

 

CAS Swap Cards

So I finally got my CAS cards done for my CASE CAS Swap.  Here they are, one is a valentines day card and one is a Mothers day card.  I will hopefully be able to get to the Post Office today and get them in the mail for Patty.   For this swap we had to search Splitcoast Stampers Gallery for a Clean and Simple Card.  these are the two I liked the most.  The Mothers day is by Virgo5 and the Valentines Love is by Stamper1379.  I would have to say that the Mothers day really is clean and simple, It was so quick to put together.  less than 1/2 hour for 7 cards.  i did tweak it a little.  the corners are supposed to have rhinestones on them, however i didn't have enough for 6 cards so i cheated and used my eyelet placement guide for coloring the circles and used stickles over

that so i could get the look of the rhinestones.  I also used for the center oval the Deckled edge spellbinders.  I then realized i didn't have an oval punch for the 3rd and smallest oval.  EEEEK....i managed though.   I took the same deckled edge oval and you know where the embossing would be, well i just cut all that off to make it small enough that the yellow would show.  I think i need to invest on some more punches and spellbinders so i can do these easier with the same shape outlining the others.  LOL!

Okay so what did i manage to have to tweak on the love card.  Well first off i had to change the ribbon, i didn't have brown and white.  So that made me have to change the color of the card as well.  So i went with my wedding colors, after all  we got married on Valentines day a year ago.  Yep you guessed it i made an extra for my hubby.  So the Card base is a deep almost magenta pink and the other color is a rich deep blue (darker then my wedding blue, but the ribbon is the match to the wedding blue. almost a turquoise blue).  I then had to change the stamp.  I didn't have that stamp but I did have The Great Impressions envelope stamp.  So I used that and I then added a few heart buttons i had.  Okay so on to the word Love.  HMM.  I didn't have the same type of flower so i used my paper prima flowers used some white and some pink, and for the center of those i used blue and clear rhinestones.  Then instead of stamping the word LOVE i took a package of those sticky letters you can buy at the office store or hardware store, you know the ones you can use to make name tags for work, or put on your mailbox as they are waterproof and such.  I took my pink glitter pen and colored them in that way when i placed them some of the color would wear off being that they are waterproof so i have a light wash of pink for the letters.

So there you have it gals my version of the CASE CAS SWAP.  :)  I wish i didn't have to change so much, but at least its design is intact.

Cat/Dog Diary Excerpts

I came across this off a Forest Friends Swap members blog.  Thanks Gael!!!  it's great.  I thought it was too funy and just had to reposts it.  I used to have cat and the vomiting and trying to escape part reminds me of that.  they would always sit at the window or door and cry until i would let them outside.  :) 

As for the dog well that is kinda like them, they love anything although their day sim majority of the time laying on the couch next to me.  Even better.  I love a snuggler. 

Geal had copied it from The Best Article of the Day becase she thought it was funny as well. 

So here it is.
Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary...Day 983 of My Captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Update on New Years Resolutions!!

Well okay i thought i would post an update on my Resolutions for the new year.    So far I havent dont much stamping yet.  Still trying to get back into the swing of things from after the holidays. 
Okay i know some of you are wondering what have i done for my resolutions so far. 

Well.......here's a quick reminder as to what those were. 

1. Spend less time in my PJ's and more time in actual clothes.  As some of you know I spend alot if not all day in my Pj's on my days' off.  No work clothes don't count either.  I spend to much time in those as well.
2. Wake up earlier on my days off to maximize my time to clean, craft, and spend time with hubby and critters.
3. Keep craft cave and bedroom cleaned and organized  more often,  starting to feel closed in with all the piles of junk laying around.
4.  No more keeping laundry in baskets, put them away after being folded.
5.  Get rid of things right away if I'm not going to need them no more.

Okay so Heres where i've gotten so far.  WEll for #1 i've managed to spend less time in my Pj's but however not even in actual clothes either, just my skivvies or skivvies and a tank top lately.  LOL!  I know TMI.  Its been roasting in our apartment for the past 2 weeks even with this harsh temperatures.  Havent done hardly any stamping other then i finished 4 wishpads i forgot to take a picture of.  :(

Well have I been waking up earlier.....NOPE...i've actually been having more trouble getting to bed at a decent time.  its always past 2AM by the time i get to bed at if its my day off i'm up bewteen 10am or 11am. 

You ask what about the laundry.  Well i've slacked at that too.  I have mine and my hubbys sorted but not put away yet.  Getting close though.  I'm hopeing to get to it  and all put away in its own place on Monday.  Well at least mine.  Hubby's he can figure out, and when he says he can't find his underware i can just tell him well if you'd put your clothes away you would know where some are.  LOL!  :) 

Okay have i been getting rid of things i dont need or use!  You betcha over new years i cleaned out at least 3 corners full of junk.  Each time the mails out if its not a bill or happy mail i toss it so away with the junk mail i say.  :)  as for the rest of the stuff.  well i'm working on it.  Been even going through my stamps as some of them i've had for over 3 years and have never seen an ink pad :(  i know bad crafter.  LOL! 

So there you have it an update on how i've done on my resolutions.....Good thing i got 11 more months before a new year so maybe i can get at least one or two of them to stick.  :)  that would be a good thing.